Ask Maria

Dear Maria:
I am a 61-year-old, semi-disabled man. I currently have a nice but I have had financial struggles most of my life.

My big problem is that for 5 years I have been living in a fantasy world.  I have created a large fantasy family.  It is mainly sexual. 

energy_novI spend a lot of time in this fantasy world and neglect my friends and just partially watch TV.  I am glad if a show is a re-run so I don’t need to pay much attention.  I was thinking this might be caused by the Hydrocondone or Tamoxifen I take. 

I am really not interested in sex, but enjoy my imagination.  I do not masturbate or have sex of any kind.  I am concerned about the time I use my imagination, and how important it is to me. I am kind of embarrassed to tell you my deep dark secret.
Fantasy Boy

Dear Fantasy Boy:

You seem to be more embarrassed than truly disturbed by your fantasies. If the embarrassment were to disappear, how would you feel about fantasizing?

You mentioned that you have spent much of your life in financial struggles and are now living comfortably. The coincidence of your finances balancing at the same time your fantasies become more prominent is due to the fact that you have balanced your first chakra and are now moving on to second chakra.

First chakra has to do with survival and second with pleasure. It is difficult to feel pleasure if you are in fear of survival.

You also are concerned with the amount of time you spend on your fantasies, but what else would you rather be doing when this brings you pleasure? Remove the shame and see how you feel about your choices.

Shame is the lowest form of energy on the planet. It is a fear-based energy. Feeling bad makes no positive changes in your life. Enjoy your fantasies.

You do not masturbate and do not have sex. You might try masturbation if it does not affect your health. The physical release may cut down on the fantasizing time.

Find other activities and put yourself in a winning position to enjoy time with friends and family. Get out of the house and have lunch with a pal.

I cannot give you advice on your medications. I suggest that you speak with your doctor.

Dear Maria:

I lost my lover of 21 years about 7 years ago. Since then I have been single and miss being in a relationship.

I am broke. This economy has drained all my finances and currently I am desperately seeking a way of getting some sort of work and income. I have a $55,000 judgment against me and medical bills of $27,000. I am drained and tired, but struggle to make ends meet.

I used to be a retail construction manager, but lost my job nine months ago. I am HIV+ since 1986, but healthy for the most part. I work as much as I can, but health does affect my life. My biggest concern is money and I need to get out of this situation immediately.

Broke in West Hollywood

Dear Broke:

There are many free or low-cost services available in LA for both health and legal assistance. Getting these items balanced will lift some of the weight from your shoulders.

You speak of not having moved on from the loss of your mate. I believe that hanging on to what was and feeling paralyzed are a pattern for you.

You may feel that you have tried to move on, but if you are still in the same situation, your message to the Universe, is that you want more of the same.

Look at your thinking. The first step to balance is to change your thinking. Thinking creates our feelings and our feelings create our actions or inactions and our actions create our physical reality.

We get stuck because we believe that our physical reality creates our feelings. We are in pain; we feel unhappy therefore, we continue to create an unhappy physical reality.

I know it may seem difficult to believe that you can change your situation by thinking, but if you change your thoughts, you will begin to feel differently.

Your feelings will become a higher energy vibration and that will be the vibration from which you create the physical reality of your life. You feel better, so you bring in events, circumstances and people that will follow that particular energy vibration. Your health will improve and your finances as well.

You also mention the economy as though it is a living, all-powerful being that has created your life. You and ONLY you are the creator of your life. You are the one who is all-powerful.

If you wish to write Maria, be detailed and clear.