Cupid Has Left the Building

VALENTINE’S DAY: I hope it was good for you, landing on a weekend. I hope you celebrated love and whom you love. Let’s talk about attraction, beauty, and what it sometimes leads to.

Inner Beauty. Have you noticed people you are attracted to and want to be around, but when you think of it they aren’t that beautiful? But when they smile you find them very attractive? You have also probably noticed others whom you find physically attractive but when you spent time with them, they were not. You may also wonder how a certain celebrity who is attractive or rich has such a plain spouse.
As people grow up, some depend on their outer beauty and didn’t develop their inner beauty. Let me tell you, inner beauty goes much farther than outer. What we are looking for is love and intimacy.

Sometimes sex (please be safe!) is a part of this. Intimacy is sharing your life, your inner thoughts and feelings without fear of being rejected. That is hard to come by but when it does, it is liberating not to have to be so careful around them. It is best achieved by getting to know people, caring for them, and helping them.

Your long-term emotional health isn’t dependent on your outer appearance. Ask yourself the root reason for why you are “changing” your outer appearance.

Plastic Surgery. Very Expensive. “But no price is too high to make me beautiful and happy. I deserve it.” See the section above on inner beauty. Surgery does nothing to correct problems with your true beauty, your inner beauty.

4.6 million plastic surgery procedures were performed in 1999, Chemical peel and liposuction were the top two. But Botox has taken off and I have no figures for that. About 11% of the 1999 procedures were on men. The most procedures were done on people 35-50 years of age. (

This consists of multiple methods to change your appearance. I am not a fan of liposuction since many gain the fat back due to not changing their eating habits to a more healthy and limited diet. Most of us really need less food than we eat. If we eat 5 portions of fruits and vegetables a day and exercise, we are smarter and have more energy. I have seen some vegetarians who also exercise, possess a glow that others notice.

Chemical Peel. This procedure is the application of a chemical that burns the outer skin slightly, in a controlled fashion so that the new skin growing back has less scars and defects.

Fillers. Collagen and other compounds are used to make sunken or small things larger. Some of these slip later and are hard to correct or remove, causing worse defects and/or scarring. Silicone is not looked upon favorably by plastic surgeons.

Liposuction. Many gain the weight back because the problem is the eating/exercise issue. Serious complications can happen, such as infection since the fat tissue doesn’t have much circulation and the body’s defenses have problems getting to the problem area.

Botox. As far as we know it reverses and there are no long-term side effects. It seems to help still photo shoots, but when you don’t see someone’s face move, it may seem strange.

Of course, no one has a problem with plastic surgery for deforming conditions such as burns or scars.
Lifts. The surgeon has to burrow the instrument under your skin, separating it from the tissues below, remove a piece, and then sew it back together.

Body decorations. Ask yourself if you will be glad you had the procedure when you are 70 years old, or explaining to your grandchildren, nieces, and nephews why you had it done. When you are older, you will be a different person but people, unfortunately, sometimes form opinions based on what they see on the outside before getting to know the inside. Have you seen tattoos that have been “removed?” I have seen some pretty poor “removals”, and most of them just make the tatoo hard to read or understand. The skin doesn’t return to normal.

Drugs, alcohol, tobacco, coffee. These hurt our beauty and have us make bad decisions. Find a program or some way to eliminate these. I see so many who look much older than their age and it is due to the use of these substances. I have a young lady in the hospital who took Ecstasy and now she is in a permanent vegetative state. I have seen numerous cases of cocaine or crystal methamphetamine causing heart damage, causing disability for the rest of their lives.

I think I have more energy being an exercising vegetarian who doesn’t drink coffee. With coffee there is a payback, the fatigue and withdrawal after it wears off.

Sun. Exposing your skin to sun is good to convert a little of your cholesterol to vitamin D. But getting a sunburn or purposefully tanning causes breakdown of the elastin and collagen in your skin, making it thin and wrinkly. Tanning booths are not recommended by physicians. Those very tan now will look very wrinkly later and may have scars or not be alive due to getting skin cancer.

High Heels. These deform the feet and cause pain eventually. You may need surgery to correct this in the future. I’m talking to women and men.

Safe Sex. Duh! Why take the risk. Wait till you and your partner are monogamous to take the gloves off.

Find intimacy and love. Give intimacy and love. It lasts much longer than over a holiday weekend.