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Life after COVID-19…

By/Por: Jorge Diaz, MSW
Clinical Social Worker
jdiaz@bienestar.org

How the world literally changes from one day to the next. At one point,  many of us were making plans for spring break, while others hit the gym to get those bodies ready for PRIDE season. However, we are all binge eating, watching movies on Netflix and clueless of what day it is.  Many are struggling with how to cope with this culture change. No gym, no bars, no clubs and no socializing! We have become “homebodies…….”  COVID-19 has changed the game of gay nightlife, sexual hook-ups and the places and activities we attend to celebrate our identities. It has been two months of social distancing, mask wearing and the shut down of Los Angeles and other major cities all over the world-leaving many of us wondering “when will it end” and questioning “is this our new normal?” When I Google other words for the word “change” the words alter, vary, modify or become different comes up. What does that really mean? How has COVID-19 impacted our lives as gay/bisexual men? What changes do we need to make to adjust to our new normal? Will our socializing habits be different out at the bars or clubs when they open? What really will change? Most guys stay 6 feet away anyway and don’t speak to you face to face. What about our sexual hook ups-what will change?  Are we actually having a conversation before we fuck? Will wearing a mask make the HIV status conversation easier and less uncomfortable? We often compared the old days with the new days. Remember the Circus and Arena days? Remember the days when we actually had to give our number out or send our friend over to talk to the guy for us? Remember the days when we actually had to ask questions to get to know one another? Now a days, we just look each other up on social media and simple read about the guy rather than going on a date and getting to know him. Restaurants will only allow for take out and movie theaters will be closed! Oh no!!!!! How does this impact our social and dating life exactly? How many times did you ever take a guy out for dinner or movie anyway?  Throughout this COVID-19 experience, we  heard the word “isolation” being used a lot. Do you really believe  “isolation” is a new thing for gay men? Have we forgotten the impact HIV/AIDS had on our community, or how mental illness is stigmatized in our Latino culture, or how poverty and substance use pushes those “less fortunate” to isolation. Maybe there is something to be learned about our new normal. Maybe we will call instead of sending a text or tweet, maybe we will go outside and enjoy mother nature rather than being stuck on Grindr or social media and maybe we will appreciate the emotional connections and importance of bonding and not just be sexually driven and maybe we will learn how to show our pride as gay Latino men without the need of an over priced event full of White gay men who feel superior to us. Maybe there is something to be learned from the COVID-19 experience. Maybe………