By Jorge Diaz, MSW – Clinical Social Worker
There are many that hate this day, and others hate the entire month. Yes, it’s Valentine’s day. Unfortunately many have bought into the idea that it’s about love and romance between two people. However, this day can be what you make of it.
(1) you can go along this day like any other ordinary day
(2) if you have a partner or date-communicate with them and see how you BOTH want to celebrate, communication is key in any relationship
(3) make this day about you; self-love is the best type of love
(4) celebrate with friends or family, after all it’s the day of love and friendship
(5) have the “hook-up” ready and enjoy a great sexual escapade. Can’t find love? Well, at least get good sex! The reality is, this day is important to some, very special and romantic for others and insignificant for many. If you’re single, don’t get sad and depressed.
This day is for you too. However, it requires for you to change the way you view being “single” versus being “alone.” There’s a difference. Maybe you’re fed up and over the club and bar scene or maybe you feel that you will never find love on Grindr or the random hook-ups are just not fulfilling anymore. Whatever the case may be, being lonely and single is not the same thing. Self-love is fundamental in our personal growth and overall mental health well-being. If you can’t love yourself, how do we expect to recognize or embrace love?
Don’t you think we need to be “good” with our self before we love someone else? What does that really mean?
Everyone defines this differently. Let’s get started:
Our Image: Very touchy subject. Please don’t change to fit the norm or change your body to please others. However, many of us don’t like one or two things about ourselves. If you don’t like something about your image or appearance, change it. Take the necessary steps to change what you don’t like. There’s nothing better than loving what you see in the mirror and that might include embracing who you are just for how you are.
Our mind: We all want peace of mind, yet we are all trying to keep up with the latest trend or technology or latest app or “who’s following who?” Slow down. Life is about enjoying the moments and those around you. Stop trying to do it all and to please everyone around you.
Our Heart: Stop allowing people to “break your heart.” Why do we allow for this to continue and what does it say about us? Forgiveness is part of any relationship, however allowing someone to continue to hurt you is not LOVE.
Our Soul & Spirit: Show some love and self-care for your inner you. Live in the present and not the past. If the past continues to hurt you, it’s time to reflect and make changes. Take care of your mental health and disconnect yourself from those that damage your self-esteem and peace of mind. It’s the day of “Love and Friendship,” start by giving yourself that!