Self-reflection on a new beginning

By: Simone Dugal, MSW Intern


Motivierter Mann vor Tafel mit Muskeln aus Kreide dahinter
Motivierter Mann vor Tafel mit Muskeln aus Kreide dahinter


As humans, we are thirsty for love, acceptance, and stability. Sometimes when we are in a vulnerable position, we tend to gravitate to the first impression of love. Don’t get me wrong, it feels good to be loved and to love someone back. It’s like: finally, I found him-cue the sigh of relief. Your new beau has got the looks, the smarts, the money, and the attitude- he’s perfect. It’s like those hours of endlessly browsing on dating apps was an utter waste of time-no more Grindr, Jack’d or swiping left or right….. The chemistry and compatibility between you two is just mind-blowing. He’s exactly what you’ve been looking for.


But something just doesn’t seem quite right. Sure, your beau might be a few (or ten) years older or younger than you, but who cares about age nowadays? Not only that, his living situation might be a bit weird for someone his age and socioeconomic status. It’s like, he has the money to pamper you, but lives with five or six roommates? On top of that, the partying and binging with your beau might have gotten a little weird. Like sure, we’re all down for a good old-fashioned orgy, but shit has been getting a little Eyes Wide Shut freaky at these parties. It’s almost as if he’s sharing you with his friends. Is it time for the open-relationship talk, we just met?


Oh, and your friends! Have you talked to them lately? Sometimes we ghost our friends when we first get into a new romantic relationship. It’s normal for people in love to shift their focus onto their new partner when they find that they can no longer relate with the single scene. However, it’s not normal if your new partner begins to isolate you from your friends. Your partner may begin to violate your privacy by going through your devices, blocking individuals from social media, or not allowing you hang out with friends. Suddenly, it’s like the only people you hang out with now are his friends.


Let’s chat about your looks… Sure, we’ve all compromised and altered our appearance to turn our new partner on. Whether it’s showcasing your new outfit in the bedroom or at the club, there’s nothing like getting all dolled up to turn some heads. Yet, when was the last time you wore something that turns you on? There’s nothing sexier than confidence and self-love.

It’s finally 2018 and we probably didn’t think we would survive the Trump administration, but here we are, ringing in the new year and preparing for Valentine’s day! As we watched our basic human rights stripped of all dignity, we fought back the only way we could: by seeking love. So, pick up that phone and reach back out to your friends. Wear what makes you feel sexy. Invite love in and push toxicity out. It’s a new year with infinite possibilities and opportunities and don’t forget that you come first.