So you are in a situation you cannot change. You lost your job and you got a 3-day eviction notice; the love of your life found the love of his life and you ain’t it, your mom has terminal cancer. You get the picture. Shit happens and then you die. This is life, baby.
Throughout our lives, we will encounter problems which appear to have no solution. So what can we do as a free-thinking, positive-focused individual?
Go ahead and cry. Cry loud, cry hard. Get it all out. Once you have squeezed out every last tear and you are drier than the Sahara, what is left? You are spent, exhausted and drained. So, sleep. Sleep as deeply, as finally as you can. In sleep, we heal and rejuvenate.
It is the next morning. You now have two days left on the eviction notice, the boyfriend is still gone and Mom is still dying. What is next? More crying?
You could drink, choose drugs, wallow in a depression, or eat until you explode, but ultimately, when all the “aids” quit working, you will have to choose something different
Here we are again, back at square one. This is when you put away the tissues, the bottle, the pipe and the giant chocolate cake. This is the time to find hope, connect with God/Universe, and figure out how to help yourself. This is the blessing in these events, disguised though it may be.
In this instant of quiet, God speaks to us, and we are capable of listening to our inner voice, our connection to soul and Universe, to all that is.
Your inner voice may tell you to go outside and sit on your step. There, sitting and wondering why you are sitting on the step, a man may come up to you and say, “you are everything we are looking for, can you star in our next film? I’ll give you $10,000 today if you will and oh, by the way, are you married, because I find you to be the most perfect man in the world. And, just one more thing, I found the cure for cancer last night.”
Knowing that these miracles are out there is what causes you to listen to your inner God. Faith gets you to the step and if all that happens is some sweet little old lady smiles at you because you helped her with her groceries instead of crying on the step, then you have created your miracle. You accepted and gave a smile. You suddenly know that losing your apartment is not going to kill you, nor is the loss of your boyfriend or even your mother . . .
You will feel the pain of the losses, but you will survive it and it is this acceptance and knowledge that will lead you to the next phase in your life. It will cause you to speak to the landlord with whom you could never get along. Your serenity, your conscious connection to your own soul, may cause him to give you one more day, week, month. It may have no affect on him at all. However, your kindness, your acknowledgement that you have caused him trouble may help him to heal something.
In this place of conscious connection, we may find the perfect roommate situation, the apt that you will manage, and not pay a cent for rent, or you may find that the freedom of living in your car is as good as life gets. The choice of course, the reaction to the situation is all that you do have control over, and it is in this power that we gain everything.
If we are smiling, if we are filled with faith and trust and joy, not in spite of our situation, but because our situation has no power over our feelings and therefore our attitude; if we are in control of our situation instead of our situation controlling us, we are empowered.
When we are empowered and in control, we are attractive. We attract. That cute boy you just passed who smiled at you, smiled because he did not see the loser who lost his boyfriend, he saw a winner who feels good about himself. The boyfriend is still gone, but that hunk had a way better smile that your ex did anyway. And, suddenly you can say ex without dissolving into a puddle of pain.
The mom with terminal cancer issue is a big one. She will never fix you your favorite cookies again. Christmas will come and go and she will not be buying you the only present that fits your perfectly.
Get really clear about the situation first. Mom is going to die. Accept it and let it go. She is not dead yet. Today, she may only lie in bed on pain meds, but she can still smile when you walk into the room. Can you smile back? That is your purpose. Smile at her. Play cards with her. Your pain is not the issue. You have the rest of your life to cry, do not cry the rest of hers.
Live the serenity prayer. Change the things you can. Accept the things you cannot. Have the wisdom to know the difference. I might add, smile through it all and trust that in having faith, you will find the easiest, highest path to living a full life.
You can reach Maria at email@example.com
By Maria Etta Anabel