By: Mary Khon
The year 2021 started with a blast, didn’t it? Not the type of blast that makes jump of joy and makes us feel giggly, quite the opposite. In fact, I have seen enough memes and TikTok videos about how 2021 is just an extension of 2020 so this new year almost becomes a depressing subject to talk about.
Recently, an acquaintance of mine told me that we need to keep remembering how 2020 behave and how it treated us all so we can do two things: 1) learn from it and 2) move forward. Maybe my friend is correct, we need to look at 2020, take the good, take the bad, and make the best of it. I won’t deny the fact that 2020 made me very angry, then, it made me very scare, and finally very sad, a sentiment I still carry with me during these few weeks of the 2021. I wonder if this is a good thing or a bad thing, or it is simply nothing at all. What say you, queeridos?
I must admit that 2021 has become the year where hardly anyone made any “New Year’s Resolutions.” And to be honest, I’m saying “hardly anyone” with the purpose to not generalized but in my personal experience, I have not heard, read, or even seen anyone I know make a proclamation of their New Year’s resolutions for this calendar year. I think we all have been so overwhelmed with the politics of the country, with the spread of COVID-19, and with the unruly and selfish behavior of many people that an “automatic and silent survival” mode for 2021 has become the default resolutions for the majority of people, not only in my beautiful “city by the bay” or my beautiful California, my neurotic USA, but the entire confused world.
To prove my theory, I brought out the question to my Latinx gay friends the day we gather to spill the tea. And by gather, I mean we met via ZOOM since we all live in different parts of the country and the world. As we chatted about “this and that” and we also updated our lives, I ask them how many of them had made New Year’s resolutions. Like a Greek Chorus who has been rehearsing for a long time, all of them answers with “agggh!” sounds of either disgust or intolerance to the question. “Really?” One of them expressed annoyingly. “Seriously, girl, the questions you sometimes ask.” Said another one. “In this situation?” A third added. And so, I explained that I was trying to test a personal hypothesis and that their reactions and sudden questions have proven what I had initially thought, “this is not the year for New Year resolutions.” After I explained, the subject was put aside, and we continued with our tea spilling.
So, yes queeridos, this is the year where hardly anyone set up any New Year’s resolutions because 2021 simply is a continuation of 2020. Many people may disagree, but so far, within the first six days of the month, an insurrection happened. And by the looks of it, more rebellions may happen in the weeks and/or months ahead. No, I am not being a pessimist, I have never been a pessimist, but I have always been a realist. As I write this, people on the radio are discussing how the events of January 6 are not to be classified as events that were planned and coordinated. And that, right there, is a very naïve and a clear sign that the people who are the “experts” about these matters, have really not experienced how dictatorships emerge and work.
By I digress.
I wish I can write about gossip and things that have been going on with our Queer People of Color, but, um, we are in the midst of a horrible pandemic, and well, I have been stocked at home since March. And yes, I have gained a lot of weight. And that means that my clothes don’t fit me as nice as they use to. They still fit, but they are now a little bit tighter all over my body, which in return makes me feel uneasy wearing anything. All I want to do is launch around in pajamas or sweatpants at all times, which I do about 95% of the time anyway. The other 5% I’m either naked and/or fighting to fit into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
Just last week I bought me three pairs of pants and since you can’t use the dressing rooms at the moment, I had to wait to get home to try them. And surprise! None of them fit me! Now, I am getting to return them, accepting the reality that my gut is rounder, my butt is bigger, my hips are wider, and my once attractive chest now has men boobs! Men Boobs!
Yeap, that is what is happening. We are not the same and we will never be the same. 2020 shaped our lives and our outcomes forever and it looks like 2021 is simply following the instructions of the year before.
I needs a drink, queeridos!