By: Bryan Herb – Zoomvacations/Main photo
Photo by: Martinmark | Dreamstime.com
Traveling while gay has always been a bit of a performance art — a fabulous mixture of logistics, aesthetics, and subtle social warfare. But let’s face it: how younger gay men travel today compared to their older counterparts is like comparing TikTok to fax machines — same purpose, wildly different execution. Let’s unpack this with carry-on-level efficiency and first-class sass.
The Packing Process
Younger Gays: Packing is a 3-hour montage set to a Dua Lipa remix. They bring 9 T shirts, 3 crop tops, 14 speedos, and a single pair of socks — which they won’t wear. The suitcase is mostly skin-care and accessories that could set off a medieval metal detector.
Older Gays: We bring layers. Functional, breathable, earth-tone layers. Our suitcases are part Patagonia, part pharmacy. We pack moisturizer with SPF and backup moisturizer without fragrance. There’s a pill organizer and a roll of TUMS somewhere in the toiletry bag, and we’re proud of that.
Airport Style
Younger Gays: Why not dress like you’re attending a Berlin nightclub at 2 am during a heatwave on the plane? They show up to the airport in short shorts, an “ironic” tank top, and a harness “just in case.” TSA isn’t sure whether to frisk them or ask for a photo.
Older Gays: We’re in compression socks and Athleta joggers, looking like we’re about to lead a yoga retreat for divorcees. We dress for comfort, which is code for “I want to nap without flashing my entire aisle.”
Trip Planning Philosophy
Younger Gays: No plan. Vibes only. They land in Lisbon with no hotel, just a phone at 12% and a vague idea that “we’ll figure it out.” Their backup plan is “Instagram DMs.”
Older Gays: There’s a spreadsheet. Possibly laminated. Every hotel, dinner, tour, and bathroom break is logged. There’s a folder with printed confirmations because “you never know with these apps.” Spontaneity? We scheduled that for 3:15 p.m. on Thursday.
Social Media Behavior
Younger Gays: They treat the trip like a live audition for Too Hot to Handle: International Edition. Every moment is a photo shoot. They will stand on a cliff in Ibiza, risk death, and shout “Get the angle!” as they nearly fall into the sea. The caption? “Just vibing 🌈✈️✨”
Older Gays: We post one curated photo, two days late, with the caption: “Had a lovely time in Greece.” It gets 73 likes and three comments from college friends who now sell essential oils. We don’t care — we’re too busy actually enjoying the trip.
Accommodations
Younger Gays: They’ll sleep on a futon in a stranger’s living room if it means being close to the gay bars. Bonus points if the apartment is “quirky” and has a neon sign that says “But first, mimosas.”
Older Gays: We want robes. And a breakfast buffet that includes real coffee. We need blackout curtains, functioning AC, and a concierge who doesn’t judge us for asking about local jazz brunches.
Nightlife
Younger Gays: Clubbing until 4 AM, shirtless, on a rooftop with someone named Luca from Milan. They may or may not remember the way home. They definitely don’t remember Luca’s last name.
Older Gays: We are in bed by 11. Maybe 10. We had a martini, flirted mildly with the bartender, and left before the DJ switched from disco to house. It’s not that we can’t stay out — we just won’t. Because tomorrow we’re hiking. Or wine tasting. Or both.
Souvenirs
Younger Gays: A tan, 700 photos they’ll never sort, and three pairs of sunglasses purchased from a street vendor in Mykonos.
Older Gays: Olive oil. Handmade pottery. A scarf from a local artisan. And a sense of quiet superiority for not buying the tourist trap magnets.
Both generations of gay travelers are fabulous in their own ways. Younger gays bring the energy, spontaneity, and unbridled Instagrammability. Older gays bring the elegance, the organization, and the firm refusal to sleep on a bean bag next to a litter box because the Airbnb “looked cute.”
So whether you’re booking your trip through an app called “YOLO!” or a travel planner named Bryan who’s been to Machu Picchu 23 times — travel gayly, friends.
And don’t forget the SPF. Regardless of age — we burn the same.
Bryan Herb
is co-owner of Zoom Vacations®,
a US company that creates stylish international private events and gay group vacations to the world’s hottest destinations. Learn more about them at www.zoomvacations.com or call 773.772.9666.
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