By Mary Khon

Hello Queeridos!

November is here and I’m very happy to still be able to breath and share my raucous life with you. I hope you are doing well. I am doing the best I can do and right now that is very good, considering the tough times we all have been experiencing due to the pandemic.

It’s strange, but this month feels so different from all other months of the year. I mean, there is nothing special about it. Well, there is Thanksgiving and Black Friday, and I guess those events are important if you are believer of them. I don’t personally care for either.

But anyway, November feels different because a few days before the month began, it started to rain, and the rain brought the cold, and the cold brought the fog, and now I feel like I’m living in quaint little town somewhere in Northern England. Yes, queeridos, I travel so I know what I’m talking about. Okay, I don’t travel but I’ve seen movies, so yeah.

Because of this strange phenomena, weather being cold, raining, foggy, etc…, I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood to see if things were, different. They are. To start, the streets are cleaner; there are less people out due to the cold, wind, and fog. And the leaves, queeridos, the leaves on the trees are falling.

I don’t know if its my state of mind, my emotional state, the weather, the time of the year, or the month itself but witnessing the leaves fall brought so much nostalgia into my being. And because I’m a constant promoter of gray skies, I decided to sit on a bench and spend time looking at all the trees around me in order to experience the falling leaves. They looked so peaceful, so graceful, so complete with their life cycle. I wonder if they know how prematurely they are falling from the trees.

Usually, around this time, the tree leaves change color, from green to yellow to orange to red, and then finally, they fall. But Climate change is making a mark and doing things its own way and at its own pace. It looks the color changing cycle has been skipped. Soon, the trees will look naked, like bone hands protruding from the earth. And during a few months, they will create dancing shadows under the city lights or under the sun, if it decides to come out at all (see, promoter of gray skies.)

And this they state of mind falling leaves do to me. They make me nostalgic and push me to look into my own existence, making me ponder about life, its meaning, its purpose. Luckily, there is always a sexy, papi out there, ready to take my mind of things. And while I really would like to discover the meaning of life and the purpose of my existence, like a teenager, I prefer to play than study. And so, playing with not one, not two, not three but as many papis as I can I go.

And the night is long, and exciting, full of ecstasy and sweat, and smells, and bodies touching coming in and out. And my being continues to enjoy life and to experience that, which has always been out of reach because of “this and that.” Free liberation of the soul, of the body, of the mind…. A better state of mind and emotions, and a sexual exaltation never achieved before.

And after hours and hours of moans, kisses, licks, slaps, grunts, sweat, and different body shapes becoming part of the ameba-like experience I had been into, it finally ends. And I’m exhausted and satisfied, and happy and excited because I’m able to enjoy life in this way, without worries, without guilt, without fear.

I take a shower, gather my belongings and leave the House of Desires, smiling and knowing I will visit again in a near future. The rain has stopped and the fog has cleared, but the wind and the cold continue. It doesn’t matter. Life is good. In the distance, I can see the sun starting to rise. Yes, I spent my whole night indulging and that, which many don’t even want to think about.

I passed by the park, where the trees, with many of their leaves on the ground, still adorn the city, letting us know the fall is ending and the winter approaching. And now that the sun is marking its way through the city, I can see many of the tree leaves have changed color while others haven’t. I take the deep breath, letting the cool fresh air fill my lungs with its lovely life. I go to the bench where I had been sitting hours earlier, it is empty so I sit once again. This time to appreciate my existence, my surroundings, including the trees, and the falling leaves. And that feeling of nostalgia and romanticism erupts to the top of my being once again. But I don’t feel empty, or sad, or lonely. I simply feel alive. And that is, without a doubt, the best feeling to have.