Photos and Article by: Bryan Herb
After almost three decades of leading LGBTQ+ travelers to every corner of the globe, I’ve learned that the destinations are only half the story. Sure, I’ve watched lions hunt in Africa, stood in front of the pyramids, hiked to ancient ruins, and sailed through breathtaking fjords. But the most memorable part of every trip has never been the scenery. It’s the people. Thousands of travelers have taught me lessons that no guidebook ever could. Some are funny, some are profound, and a few still surprise me every single time. The following are some of the observations as well as tips I have learned over the years from leading groups.
Never let people get hungry.
This may be the single most important rule of group travel. It doesn’t matter how beautiful the view is or how luxurious the hotel may be. Once people get hungry, patience disappears. Feed people before they’re hungry, not after. It’s amazing how quickly a snack can restore world peace.
People often think our groups are sports teams.
We’ve been asked countless times what team we’re with. Sometimes people will even ask where all our wives are. We usually smile and explain that no, we’re not a baseball team. We’re simply a group of gay travelers exploring the world together. The look on their faces is often priceless.
A country’s reputation doesn’t always match the experience you’ll have.
One of the biggest misconceptions about LGBTQ+ travel is assuming an entire country can be summed up by a headline or a law. I’ve visited destinations that many people would label as anti-gay, yet the hotel staff, restaurant owners, local guides, and people we’ve met have welcomed us with extraordinary warmth. On the other hand, I’ve encountered isolated moments of prejudice in countries with excellent legal protections. Laws matter, but people matter too.
A country’s LGBTQ+ friendliness can change overnight.
Politics has an enormous impact on travel. A new government can move a country forward or backward in a remarkably short period of time. That’s why we constantly reevaluate destinations instead of relying on information from years ago.
There are jokes only gay people understand.
Every tour eventually reaches the point where someone tells a joke that only another LGBTQ+ traveler would appreciate. Half the bus bursts into laughter while nearby straight tourists wonder what they missed. Those “if you know, you know” moments create an instant sense of community.
Gay travelers are endlessly curious about people.
Our travelers don’t just want to see famous landmarks. They want to know what life is actually like. They’ll ask the safari guide about his family, the bartender about dating culture, or the local artist what inspires their work. They aren’t simply collecting passport stamps, they’re collecting human connections.
We have wildly different tastes…except maybe when it comes to Art Deco.
Ask a bus full of gay travelers whether they prefer modern design or traditional décor and you’ll hear twenty different opinions. The debates can become surprisingly passionate. Yet for some reason, Art Deco architecture seems to receive almost universal admiration. I still can’t fully explain it.
Never underestimate the spa.
Hotels often see a rooming list full of men’s names and assume the spa will be quiet. Then our group arrives. By the end of the first afternoon, every massage, facial, manicure, and spa appointment has been booked. We’ve surprised more than a few hotel managers over the years.
Older travelers usually know exactly what they like.
One of my favorite things about our more experienced travelers is their confidence. They’ve learned what brings them joy, what isn’t worth stressing over, and what kind of vacation they truly want. They aren’t trying to impress anyone. They’re simply enjoying life.
The friendships are never predictable.
This one surprises me every single trip. Two travelers who appear to have absolutely nothing in common will discover they both love the same obscure television series, Broadway musical, old movie, or hobby. Suddenly they’re inseparable. Some of the closest friendships I’ve ever witnessed began with a conversation about something completely unexpected.
People want to be seen.
More than luxury hotels or incredible meals, people want to feel like they matter. They appreciate when someone remembers their name, notices when they’re having a rough day, or asks about something they mentioned earlier in the week. Feeling seen is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another.
Always have a Plan B.
Actually, make that Plan B, Plan C, and maybe even Plan D. Flights get canceled. Weather changes. Roads close. Wildlife refuses to cooperate. Museums unexpectedly shut their doors. The best trips aren’t the ones where nothing goes wrong. They’re the ones where the group barely notices that anything went wrong because someone quietly adjusted the plan. I think the mark of a successful travel planner is someone who can expertly turn lemons into lemonade.
Gay people are incredibly funny.
I’ve laughed harder leading LGBTQ+ tours than almost anywhere else in my life. The humor is quick, witty, self-deprecating, and wonderfully clever. Even on long travel days, someone inevitably says something that has the entire group laughing until they can’t breathe.
Deep connection matters.
Beneath the laughter, many LGBTQ+ travelers are looking for something deeper. They want meaningful conversations, genuine friendships, and experiences they’ll remember long after they’ve unpacked their suitcase. I’ve watched complete strangers become lifelong friends in less than two weeks.
There is no such thing as a “typical” gay couple.
Some couples spend every waking moment together. Others happily separate for half the day before meeting back up for dinner. Some are adventurous. Others prefer museums and cafés. Some have been together for six months, others for fifty years. Every couple writes its own story, and that’s one of the things I love most about traveling with our community.
Solo travelers often adapt the easiest.
Many of our single travelers have become experts at embracing uncertainty. They’re usually quick to meet new people, comfortable changing plans, and willing to say yes to unexpected adventures. There’s a confidence that often comes from learning to travel independently.
We definitely know how to gear up.
If we’re going on safari, someone will arrive looking like they stepped out of a National Geographic documentary. If we’re hiking to Machu Picchu, there will be enough technical hiking gear to summit Everest. Half the fun is seeing everyone’s interpretation of the packing list.
The fashion deserves its own award.
There are few better places for people-watching than an airport check-in with an LGBTQ+ travel group. Beautiful jackets, colorful sneakers, vintage scarves, perfectly tailored shirts, bold eyeglasses, statement hats—you’ll see personal style expressed in every imaginable way. Fashion isn’t about impressing anyone. It’s simply another form of self-expression.
The luggage never tells the whole story.
The traveler with the largest suitcase often wears the simplest outfits. Meanwhile, the person who packed only a carry-on somehow appears at dinner every evening looking completely different. It’s one of travel’s great mysteries. Kevin, if you are reading this, I am referring to you.
Wildlife turns everyone into a kid again.
I’ve watched sophisticated professionals, CEOs, doctors, and lawyers completely lose their composure at the sight of baby penguins, elephants crossing the road, or gorillas emerging from the forest. It’s a wonderful reminder that awe has no age limit.
The biggest memories are rarely the famous landmarks.
Ask people about their favorite moment after a trip, and surprisingly few mention the monument or museum. Instead, they’ll remember the local guide who shared a personal story, the bartender who remembered everyone’s favorite drink, the waiter who made them laugh, or the stranger they met who became a friend.
After all these years, the destinations are still extraordinary. I never get tired of watching someone see the Taj Mahal, the pyramids, Table Mountain, or Machu Picchu for the very first time. But what keeps me passionate about this work isn’t just showing people the world. It’s watching people discover one another, and sometimes even discover a little more about themselves. That’s the journey that never gets old.
Bryan Herb
is co-owner of Zoom Vacations®,
a US company that creates stylish international private events and gay group vacations to the world’s hottest destinations. Learn more about them at www.zoomvacations.com or call 773.772.9666.
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