By: Al Ballesteros
Frankie Barcenas is 37 and a native of East Los Angeles. He attended Belvedere Middle School and Roosevelt High School where he was involved in Special Needs classes due to some learning disabilities. Admittedly, there were challenges getting through school because of these learning disabilities, but that was not the major hindrance for Frankie. It was bullying and harassment he was subjected to when in middle and high school. Like many younger folks in Latino and people of color families, Frankie tried his best to keep the bullying at bay and to also deal with the situation himself and avoided getting his parents involved.
Frankie has a story like countless other LGBTQ+ people who have gone through similar situations. Although this happened to him when he was a teenager and into young adulthood, looking back on it still bothers him today. In fact, the literature documents and experts say that children, teenagers and young people who experience bullying can have long-term damage and affects which last a lifetime. We spoke with Frankie about what happened and where he is today.
Adelante Magazine: Tell me about growing up and your experience of being bullied? What was the earliest age you can remember when it started?
Frankie: I remember it was about when I was 13, maybe in sixth grade. I was a person who minded my own business, and then the harassment and bullying started and seemed to come out of nowhere. I went to special education so I was not paying too much attention to my surroundings. The boys, and some girls would throw things at me, like toilet paper and put gum in my hair. They would push me to the ground. I would just get up and go straight to class.
I got kicked a couple of times, but I didn’t get beat up. I got bruised but I’d wear my pants over to cover them. I wanted to be in school, to learn, to finish school. That was my goal.
Adelante Magazine: Did the bullying happen every day?
Frankie: Yes. Guys calling me names. I didn’t even know who the guys were. They were random guys, and some girls. They’d kicked me in the legs. It’s sad, but even one of the teachers called me a fag. As a sophomore in High School, I was called names. It might have stopped towards my senior year.
Adelante Magazine: Were you afraid to go to school?
Frankie: I actually was not scared, I felt I had to be tough. I actually told my mom and an aunt about it and they advised me to stay away from the kids.
Adelante Magazine: Did you report the harassment and bullying to anyone at the school?
Frankie: Yes. I talked to teachers and it helped. The teachers would bring me and the guys in to the school office talk to them.
Adelante Magazine: How did you get through it. It must have been hard?
Frankie: I survived. I minded my own business, that’s how I got through it. Those were dark days for me, but I got through it.
Adelante Magazine: Does your experience of being bullied affect you as an adult?
Frankie: I would never want to go through that situation again and I feel for the kids who experience this. It makes me sad. And I think about what happened to me when I see other stories about kids getting bullied and harassed.
For instance, in 2019 I saw a story on Telemundo about a young girl in middle school that was getting bullied. She ultimately committed suicide because of it and left a note saying she was doing it because of how she was being treated at school and by the other kids. That really affected me and caused me to be really sad. I could relate to her situation because I went through that.
Adelante Magazine: Does thinking about it today still make you sad?
Frankie: Yes, I wish I could go back in time and not let it bother me.
Adelante Magazine: Did you ever think of suicide? Were you scared in school?
Frankie: No. I was not scared in school. Yo soy Latino. No tengo miedo.
Adelante Magazine: Then you lose your younger sister shortly after high school?
Frankie: Yes, she passed away when she was eight years old, died of a seizer. It is very difficult to remember and talk about this.
After high school and as a young adult, Frankie began going out to find himself and build a network of friends. He got involved in numerous community groups operating in the Los Angeles area. In 2016, he ended up meeting Efren Chacon who worked at the Men’s Health Foundation in West Hollywood and who was leading the Men’s Group. He attended Efren’s Men’s Group from 2016 to 2019 and especially remembers the kindness Efren offered him. Frankie used to help Efren with the group and set up chairs and stuff like that. Efren would end up passing away in December 2019. Efren’s passing affected Frankie immensely.
Adelante Magazine: How was the Men’s Group special and your relationship with Efren?
Frankie: Efren would call me all the time to see if I was ok. He’d call and ask if I got home ok after the groups. He’d ask me to text him when I got home. I would tell Efren my problems, like about my sister who passed away in 2017. I remember he’d get emotional when I would talk to him about it.
He’d tell me to get rest. He looked out for me like a brother. I called him big brother and he’d call me little brother. He celebrated my 30th birthday in the group and got me a cake. He celebrated my life and I celebrate his life. I was thankful to have known him. He made me the better person I am today.
Today, Frankie stays active doing many different things like going to the gym. He also has a history of involvement with community service in many organizations such as Bienestar Human Services where he attends their groups. For several years, he was a West Hollywood Elite Cheerleader and walked in the Gay Pride Parade for many years representing the City of West Hollywood.
Adelante Magazine: What do you do for fun?
Frankie: I like dancing, being an artist. I stay active for the LGBTQ community, and I like putting a smile on my face. I love to be kind, respectful, polite and positive. I love angels, I like dressing up as an angel. We must respect our brothers and sisters from the LGBTQ community to be real friends.
Frankie says the staff of many organizations helped him enhance his life. He has been part of Vaqueros LA, dressed as a Vaquero (Cowboy). Also volunteers with the TransLatin@ Coalition and with Bamby Salcedo. He joined groups of the Latino Equality Alliance LEA in 2017 and has shared his story of being bullied with the group there. LEA works with the schools to advocate for the needs of LGBTQ+ youth in Southeast Los Angeles, so this was a perfect place for Frankie to share his life story to help others.
Frankie’s story is not unique. A strong percentage of adult LGBTQ persons experienced bullying while growing up. According to Social Science and Medicine (March 2024), there is also growing evidence linking being bullied in childhood to negative outcomes in adulthood including lower subjective wellbeing. …Bullying negatively impacts one’s well-being between ages 16 and 62 and raises the probability of mortality before age 55. It also lowers the probability of having a job in adulthood. These effects are independent of other adverse childhood experiences.
Adelante Magazine: What advice would you give to younger people in school experiencing bullying?
Frankie: Go to the authorities at the school and report the situation. I went to youth groups also. Be strong, go to school, and try to avoid the bullies.
Adelante Magazine: What advice do you have for adults who have had experiences being bullied growing up in school, as a teenager or young adult?
Frankie: Get involved with community groups where there are positive people. Programs like those at Bienestar Human Services, the Gay and Lesbian Center, the Men’s Health Foundation where they can feel supported and safe.