Support teams are one of the most important aspects of our life. A good friend can shrink a problem that could fill a building and turn it into a manageable situation. Friends have the power to influence and convince us to make positive life affirming choices. Friends are like a life raft when we are shipwrecked in a furious sea.
They stand beside us and brave the storm with us. They help determine the quality of our lives, and they are occasionally even our saviors. They are us at our best, a shining beacon of where we will be when we manage our pain and fears. They guide us like a lighthouse back to safe shores.
I have many friends and a truly enormous team of people to whom I turn in crisis. Each offers something different. I recommend to all of my clients that they build a positive support network. I suggest that they do an examination of their friends and influencers and in that analysis they need to be aware of what is truly support and what is enablement.
Enablement is an insidiously disguised system by which a friend may offer what appears to be support but actually merely substantiates our poor choices. More often than not, the friend does not even realize that what he offers is more damaging than enlightening. A friend may be in nearly the same situation as you are and equally unable to withdraw from it, thus supporting your position so that you both can continue in the same vein of pain and fear.
He may be overly sympathetic. This is one of the most difficult balances we may face in finding a truly supportive friend. A friend who anguishes with you and goes into great detail about how awful your situation is, encourages you to feel sorry for yourself, thus you become a victim of your crisis. You will sink even deeper into your sorrow and self-pity, making it more of a struggle to renew yourself and find positive answers.
An empathetic friend is a gem indeed. He understands your situation and knows your pain, but he will suggest solutions instead of listing all the reasons you should feel bad. Empathy is a great tool to offer a friend in agony because they will feel safe and they will feel as if you truly understand their troubles. They will not feel so alone and they will sense that “you get it.” While “getting it” is essential, it is equally important that you are able to offer inspiration. You are not there to fix the problem, but instead to present enlightenment. Be positive and empathetic which will guide a friend in misery to light.
Be a good friend to your friends. Who you are, what you believe will create your attractor field and your attractor field will draw people to you. Become the friend you want in your life and you will bring in the friends you desire. Mirror positive and you will draw positive people to you.
Be sure to look for and to offer equality. Some people love the control being a helper in another’s life allows them. They enjoy being the one to whom people turn, so much so that they attract only people in need. If you give and never receive, you will eventually run dry. Where will you turn when you are so empty that you cannot even lift your head from the pillow?
There are times in everyone’s life where they face crisis after crisis and a friend may end up having to drive 100 miles a day three days in a row to help you fix your stranded, broken down car. These friends need your assistance, but be sure that you know they will return the favor, no questions asked with love and joy when and if you ever need them. If the friend keeps evolving then he is a good friend to have in your life, if he stays in crisis, then move on. This is not about pay back, it is about unconditional love.
Recently, I received some news that I turned into a crisis of epic proportions. I was quite literally heartbroken and unable to find any sort of hope or solace. I knew I was in serious trouble. I also knew that there was only one friend who would listen, know the true nature of all the characters involved and would be able to help find a solution or at least help me find the trust that a solution would come.
I called and asked him to come over. I woke him up. He asked no questions, and was at my door in minutes. He took me to coffee and listened quietly. He face said it all. His face was so kind, I nearly wept at the sight of him. He knew my pain and he knew that I would find a solution; something of which I was not so certain.
His clarity that I would solve my problem, gave me faith, hope and the confidence to move on and balance what turned out to be a very small problem indeed. If not for him, I would have suffered the entire day and the situation, my health and my hope would have deteriorated so badly that I would have suffered needlessly and endlessly.
His faith in me changed the negative energy with which I was working into positive inspiration. I love this friend with all my heart. I suspect he knows this and he also knows that I will return the favor even if he never needs it.
This article is dedicated to Chero. Thank you!!! If you are interested in contacting Maria for an Energy Therapy Session, email her at [email protected]
By Maria Etta Anabel