The Pity Party

Do you send out invitations to your pity parties? Do you stop acquaintances in the street to tell them your woes? Do people fear that in asking you how you are they may have to reschedule their day as you go on and on about your troubles? Can you be counted on to not only empathize with someone else’s difficulties, but to point out how much worse your problem is?
Recently, a friend of mine spoke of a pain in his back. Kindly, I told him that I was unable to relate to pain. He told me to imagine the worst pain I had ever felt and then increase it to the max. Again, I replied that pain was not something to which I could relate.

He repeated, dumbfounded, but insistent, “well, remember the worst pain you ever felt, and then increase it to the max,” blankly I smiled so he added, “maybe even worse than that.”

Finally, I remembered stubbing my toe on the corner of the bed. I remembered dancing around with tears in my eyes and swear words under my breath, but I knew this was nothing compared to his pain.

I knew it was not possible to relate to his pain because it was so important to him to be in pain, to have pain, and more importantly to have the worst pain. This, sadly, was not the first conversation we had had like this.

Over the years, I have had similar conversations with people in bad relationships, friends who have been laid off and clients who suffer needy parents, ungrateful teens, horrific finances and a series of maladies that would take pages to list.

At this point, you may be thinking, ‘what an insensitive cow! As an Energy Therapist, my job is not to listen to your problems, but to get you to own your stuff and move on from it.

Just as we attach to pets, friends and lovers, we also attach to our problems. They become our identity, whether they are health issues, financial problems or the fact that everyone picks on us.

I have diabetes, I am NOT a diabetic. I am a person who carries the imbalance of diabetes. I am not a diabetic person. And, as I move through my life’s journey, I am certain, that one day, diabetes will play an even smaller role in my life than it does now.

I am not suggesting that you should not talk about the things that need to be balanced in your life. Speak of them without attachment, without resentment, and with an eye to the balance that lies within all of us. Avoid statements that involve you being a victim of your circumstances.

If the things we say about ourselves to others affect the way that they feel, imagine how it affects your body, mind and life. Our messages to the Universe are simple. I am a victim; therefore I need more things to be victimized by! Bring it on, Universe! Send me pain, send me ailments, send me financial crises, and just for fun, send me a mean boyfriend. Come on, Universe, I want more of the same.

And, best of all, the Universe responds. It gives you exactly what you ask for, maybe not what you want, but what you focus on and ask for. Changes everything does it not?

Even if you do not tell everyone your woes, the fact that you are suffering them is all the proof you need. You are sending a message to the Universe that says, ‘I want more of the same.’

I believe that if we believe that we can heal ourselves, we will heal, instantly and completely. It’s true that my pancreas does not create insulin at the present and I must take shots and blood tests several times per day.

On the other hand, does your body not test itself and add or subtract insulin as you need it. That is all I do, but I do it outside of the body. Doctors told my family that my diabetes was so severe that I would be dead by 30. And, although I am only 29 (and have been for several years) I do not expect to die next year.

I tell my clients to cry and mourn and lament their pain and losses and then move on. Do not feed your fears. See yourself healthy, wealthy and living the life you choose. See yourself in the winner’s circle. Visualize health and that will be your new message to the Universe. Stub your toe, cry and swear a little, then put on your sexy manolo blahniks and get out there and dance.

Maria Etta Anabell is an Energy Therapist who specializes in helping people create their message to the Universe. You can reach her at: [email protected]
By Maria Etta Anabell