A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE: Notes of an Antiquated Queen


By Mary Khon

Greetings Queeridos!!!

This month marks a year since the start of our moving to Armageddon stage. And yes, my dhalings, you know that I know that you know what I’m taking about. It was a year ago that the unthinkable happened and since then we all been living in a state of constant panic. It is a constant state of panic because the gay community is attack; people of color are attack; immigrants are attack, and if you are like me, a joto an immigrant, and a person of color, well, we seem to be wearing the bull’s eye, don’t we? Unfortunately, this unnerving situation is not going to stop anytime soon because we have become the escape goats for all that seems to be bad with this country.

But we are resilient people and we don’t give up easily, if we give up at all. We continue to demonstrate; we continue to fight; we continue to stand strong y defendemos a nuestros hermanos, hermanas, our families, and our communities.

And because we know the attacks, the pendejismos, and the cruelty is not going to end soon, I think it is important to talk about los tiempos de “Navidad,” and how we are going to make these holidays the best ever, because we need such uplighting time.

So here are the seven things you need to do in order to have a great holiday season:

Make a list of all the holiday celebrations your relatives, your friends, your lovers, and your hookups are planning.

Start with Thanksgiving weekend, which is the official date when the holiday season starts and end with January 6th, which is El día de los reyes for many Latin countries, including España.

Divide your list in four major groups: Family Celebrations, Friends Celebrations, General Public Celebrations and Private-Hookups Celebrations.

Yes, it is a good to know the difference between Private-Hookup Celebrations and General Public Celebrations. The first one could be hosted by your kinky sexual club and taking place at an undisclosed location while the second one is hosted by a gay organization fundraising event and takes place at the Civic Auditorium.

Prioritize your list.

Family and friends are important. But family comes first so make sure you have a couple of parties where it is all about the family. That said, family celebrations sometimes get in the way of pleasurable celebrations, so while family comes first, remember that your needs and desires should never be ignored. So, don’t miss “The Christmas Balls” party hosted by one of your friends because your family has a party on the same night, especially if you already had a party or two with the family.

At the same time, Family/Friends parties are all about loving and appreciating each other. Don’t spend your time looking for hookups on the phone. Hookups will always be there. But love ones and friends can leave us in an instant. And we that our feelings and investments for hookups versus Family/Friends are not on equal footing, so PRIORITIZE!

Be mentally and emotionally ready for those holiday celebrations that have nothing to do with family and friends.

These celebrations are all about being a deviant, exploring the kinky side you try to keep in check throughout the year. These are the parties that help you keep balance with the stressful and sometimes unavoidable family parties. Here you don’t have to worry about impressing anyone or pretending to get along with other family members while wearing uncomfortable clothing. No! Here, it is all about making out, sexual liberation, sexual gratification and body enjoyment without judgement and guilt.

Eat healthy and Exercise

This country is obsessed with body image and while I am not telling you to go over the edge with your diets or go have surgeries (I will never do that myself so won’t advice it to others,) before the holiday season arrives, change your eating habits by drinking more water, walking a little more, and eating one less meal or less each day. You’ll be surprise the physical and emotional changes that will occur.

Protect Yourself

While being wild, it is important to be smart about it too. Protect yourself when engaging in sexual activities. Make sure you are truly ready to engage on whatever new kink you are trying. And make sure you and those who you are sexually engaging with are trustworthy individuals, at least during the sexy, sweaty, sexual sessions.

Have Fun!

There is no point about planning, organizing, prioritizing, and more if you are not having fun with it. So, if it doesn’t make you happy, don’t do anything, so get ready, make your list and check it twice, but most of all, enjoy it.