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A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE: Notes of an Antiquated Queen Fallback

 

By Mary Khon

Queeridos!

I hope you created amazing and memorable summer memories, my dhalings. If you didn’t, there is always next summer. (Did you notice I have mentioned summer in the last articles?—I guess it is my favorite season!) We are now in September, with it comes the end of summer days and the fall begins. Of course, if you want to continue with your summer, all you have to do is wait until the month of December and travel to say, Buenos Aires where the summer months are December, January, and February.

 

But back to our hemisphere where summer ends and fall begins. It is now time to start thinking about indoor activities, like reading, hosting light dinner parties, and sex, sex, and more sex. Yes, I know all of you have sex all the time but one thing is having sex when the opportunity presents itself and another thing is hosting your own sex, um, gatherings.

 

Oh, please, do not give me that look! No one is a saint! And hosting sex gatherings is not a bad thing. Is it? Besides, now that Craiglist has decided to get rid off the personal ads, yes, you know what I’m talking about. Craiglist is that free Internet service where you went whenever you had free time and wanted to have a roll-in-the-hay. Craiglist is that place where you browsed the “man-to-man” ads and look for the guy that would help you satisfied your needs. Craiglist is that place you visited in order to place an ad that read something along the lines of “wanting to be naked and sent to cloud nine.” Craiglist is that place you searched when you had a couple of hours to kill, or a free lunch hour, or a desire to meet someone on the way home from work. See, I knew you know what I’m talking about.

 

Anyway, now that Craiglist’s personal ad section is gone, how do you intent to get your freak on? I know there are a few apps out there, like Grindr, Growlr, Scruff, and DaddyHunt to name a few, but those apps never came close to the wonders of the personal ads in Craiglist, did they? I bet we all quietly wish Craiglist would put the personal ads section back. But no, it doesn’t matter if you pray to all the gods of all religions and universes. Craiglist is not opening that section back. And so, we all weep and try to pickup our sorry selves up and make the best we can with our lives.

So, what to do now that summer is over and fall has arrived? Well, you can always pick up that book you have been trying to read since the beginning of the year. Or you can download that audible book and finally listen to it as you exercise indoors and/or sip tea by your favorite window. You can also pick up an old hobby, like stamp collecting (who does that nowadays?) Or you can pick up a new hobby, did you ever wanted to learn to play the piano? Or learn a new language? Now is the time, both will come in handy when you travel next summer (see, I’m already thinking about next summer.) You can also try to do some extra good in the world and volunteer at your closest gay organization. I am sure they are always looking for volunteers for the many services such organizations offer.

 

Whatever you decide to do I am sure it will be a good thing, but do remember the summer is over and the fall has started. Educational institutions will soon start their school years (some already have) and the wind will soon be chillier than it has been in the last three months.

 

Fall is that time of the year for relaxation, as opposed to winter, which is a season for hibernation. But let us not rush time; I will talk about the winter when the time comes. For now, fall is about to start and it is time to plan how we will spend such windy, chillier days. Volunteering, learning a new language, and reading a new book are some good ideas. Of course, I encourage sex gatherings but that is just me because I believe life is short and one must seize the day, carpe diem as Horace wrote back in the year 23 B.C. (Wow! That’s a long time ago and yet, we use such aphorism all the time.)

 

Okay, I think I have said what I needed to say. Fall season is here and it is time to fallback for calm, slow, and pleasant days, evening and nights. Of course, if sex is involved, let it not be calm and slow all the time.