If you are looking for a long term monogamous relationship with Mr. Right and have as yet not found him, then I suggest you look to your thinking. The way in which you perceive yourself will tell you a lot about the type of mate you will draw into your life. It will also tell you why you are without a mate.
We are a physical group of creatures. Attraction is for most of us, male and female, our first impression of a potential mate. We are undulated with advertising that assures us we will not get a mate unless we look a particular way and purchase specific items.
We are told that we are not of value because we do not earn $100,000 per year or because we live in a small house or are over the age of twelve. If you believe the media and find yourself to be unattractive, that may translate into feelings that you are unworthy of a mate or at least a good and decent mate who will treat you well.
For most of us, the feelings go much deeper than we are willing to admit. Even youthful, attractive, wealthy people who appear to have it all may have feelings of unworthiness. It is not about the surface issues. It is, however, very much about how you feel about what you have and how you perceive your looks and being that will determine your attractor field.
Take a history of your past mates, long and short term, even one nighters. What were they like? Were they good to you? Were they gorgeous? Were they shallow? Were they responsible for themselves? Did they use you? Ask yourself a series of questions like those above. Make a list of the traits you liked and those you did not. Which list is longer? Does anyone on the list have positives in all categories?
Now make a list of the reasons why each relationship ended. Was it you? Was it them? Was it a combination of both of you? Did you get fed up too early or too late? Did they lose interest or if it was a monogamous relationship, did they cheat on you?
When analyzing this list look for patterns. Did you always end the relationship as soon as they farted in bed? Did you stick it out even when they beat you? Did they all leave you? Did you bitch until they had no choice but to leave?
Our thoughts about our own being and our lives create our feelings about who we are. These feelings then create our attractor field. Our attractor field is our antenna to the Universe. If you want a cowboy, you do not turn to classical music, you turn to a country and western station.
When I was a child, I was overweight. My sister was very thin and beautiful. Our family used to say that she got all the looks. I believed this definition and spent my teens and 20’s in destructive relationships and one night stands.
I became bulimic and nearly died as a result of this potentially deadly disease. I decided that I would never be thin and accepted myself as I was. I finally met a man who did not mind my weight. He found me to be beautiful and full bodied. I promptly lost 50 pounds as I no longer cared how I was perceived. We have been in a happy, healthy, exciting and fun relationship for over 17 years.
My sister was quite literally a Barbie doll. She constantly met men who wanted to possess her. She is now divorced and continues to meet men who want to own her, like a little doll. She constantly worries about her looks and never, ever walks out of the house without full make up and hair. NOT EVER!
Recently she was going on a blind date. The man had seen her picture on an internet site. She was worried that he might be disappointed because the picture was two years old and she had more wrinkles and had gained eight pounds. If you are now thinking, “God, I know how she feels,” you have missed the point.
Another good question to ask yourself is: Why do you want a relationship? Will it complete you as though you are incomplete without a mate? Are you looking for companionship and someone with whom to share your life? Are you looking for another person to take care of you because you cannot take care of yourself?
Really meditate on this question. Consider your response or responses. If your desire for a relationship is not healthy, you will not bring in a healthy relationship. If, on the other hand, your desire is healthy, then focus all your heart on drawing in the person of your dreams.
Focus is a key ingredient for bringing in a great mate. A good relationship is like anything else in life; you must desire it and be willing to put the energy into bringing in your soul mate. You first need to feel good about yourself. You must then be sure that your desire for having a relationship is healthy. Finally, you get to do the fun part: believe, feel, taste and enjoy the process. A good relationship is rewarding in ways you may not even imagine.
If you are interested in working through relationship woes or in finding your mate, we may be able to work together using energy therapy. You may reach me at [email protected]
By Maria Etta Anabel