We all need and want love. It is life energy, and we do not do very well if we do not have unconditional love in our life. We need not get it from a mate. It can come from family or friends, however, for this article, we will discuss romantic love.
In order to receive unconditional love, we must give unconditional love. What you put out, you get back. If you treat your mate like a naughty child that cannot be trusted, she may find it difficult to trust or love you. Trust is an essential element for love to flourish. Trust completely and wholly.
If you are always measuring the relationship, unconditional love cannot thrive. The mentality that keeps a list of who did what for whom is precisely the thinking that can and eventually will end the relationship altogether. Give without expectation.
If you are selfish and withhold love, affection or connection, you will receive no love, connection or affection. You will live in an emotional desert and love cannot grow without connection or affection. Offer love generously.
Keeping a scorecard of past offenses, will leave you with nothing but a scorecard. Score cards are not justice. In order to forgive completely, we must forget completely. When we look for signs in our mate that they are again making poor choices, we will have made the poorest choice of all. Love justly.
Speak without accusing. Talk without screaming. Discuss without arguing. Remember that you are trying to let your mate know how you feel. Do not accuse him of making you feel the way that you do. Your feelings are your choice. Do not scream at her. She can hear far better when you speak calmly and clearly. Put your position into words, not arguments. Tell your mate your feelings in a loving way and you will be heard in a loving way.
Negotiate. Compromise. Accommodate. Do not stand hard and fast or you may stand alone. Find the middle ground for it is there that all will prosper. Indulge your mate and she will indulge you. Remember your love first and remember not your stubbornness.
Be true, be loyal. Loyalty is not possession. It is choice. When you choose to be true to him, you choose to be true to yourself. Betray her, you betray self. Without loyalty, love cannot exist. Even in open relationships, there must still be loyalty. Define loyalty and adhere to it.
Honesty is mandatory for love to be created and to grow. Speak only the truth. Do not fear his anger. Do not lie to avoid justice. When you do not speak the truth, trust will dissolve. Speak the truth when you speak of your emotions. Speak the truth when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are pleased, when you are disappointed. Speak only the truth and only truth will prevail.
Remember always that you love your mate. Do not indulge in feelings of hurt and pain. Do not think of what he has done to hurt you. Think only of her goodness, her kindness, even when she has been unkind. Remember your love first and all else will become of poor second.
Be kind. When he is angry, be kind. When she is accusatory, be kind. Whatever your mate may offer you, be kind. Kindness is a balm that soothes all wounds, large and small. If we are always kind, our mate will feel loved and safe and we will live in that same place of love and safety with our mate.
Use forgiveness as your sword against all pain. Forgiveness cuts sharply and cleanly, eliminating recriminations or a need to hold onto hurt. Forgive him his mother. Forgive her her best friend. Forgive him his laziness. Forgive her her career. Forgive your mate his lack of kindness, her anger, forgive all.
Relationships can be holy things, or hell on earth. We choose their nature. We choose with our feelings. We choose with our thoughts. We choose with our actions. Think and feel loving thoughts and feelings and you will perform actions that create a loving environment.
If you would like to work on your relationship, Maria is now accepting new clients. You may contact her at ellobousa@yahoo.com.
Learning to love unconditionally requires you to first love yourself in the way in which you wish to be loved. We cannot love others unless we first love ourselves. We cannot put out what we do not have inside. We cannot be saved by love. We must first love to be saved.
By Kellie Lee Owen