‘Tis the Season of Hope and Joy and Love and Despair. The Holidays bring many of us closer to our families and mates. They offer us a sense of belonging and security. However, for some, it is a season to be endured rather than celebrated. It is a season of loneliness and depression.
The holidays with all their decor and celebratory insistence can be difficult when you are alone. If you have just divorced or ended a relationship, Christmas can cause you to feel more lonely and pain-ridden than the actual break up itself.
One of my clients says that she feels more alone during the holidays than the rest of the year combined. She says that she dreads the end of the year in an almost obsessive way. She admits that the festivities are the only time that she really misses having a relationship.
However, if this is the season of hope, then feeling hopeful carries with it more power this time of the year. Instead of watching the jewelry commercials with a feeling of anger and disappointment, imagine you being the recipient of that beautiful ring.
When you see a couple kissing under the mistletoe, imagine yourself lip-locking the mate of your dreams. See yourself in a relationship. Feel as if you are connected to someone special. Act as if you are desirable and the catch of the century. Behave as if you have what you want and you will move towards your goal of a happy and fulfilling relationship.
Feeling bad, lonely and sad is most certainly justified. Being alone during the holidays can be most painful. You have a right to feel miserable. . .
If you agreed with the above statements, then observe how you feel at this moment. You most likely feel angry and depressed. If this is a pretty close estimation of your current feelings, then congratulations, you have manifested exactly what you are seeking.
Our feelings are our message to the Universe. They are like direct connections to the catalog of our desires. We think, we feel and we create all with our mind. Our mind creates our actions. If you feel alone and angry during the holidays, you are not likely to be on many guest lists.
What if you chose to believe that this year, with or without a mate, you will celebrate. Look around you. Do you have a roof over your head, enough to eat, clothes on your back? Does anyone care about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have a great place to start feeling joy and gratitude.
Think of being homeless and then look at your dinky little apartment, has it not just become the Taj Mahal? Do you not feel overwhelming joy that you just finished a giant burrito? This is where celebration begins. Do an accounting of what you do have. Feel grateful that your five year old jacket still fits and keeps you warm.
Gratitude is one of the best ways to stay connected to source energy, to the Universe, and as it Christmas time, let’s just say it, feeling gratitude connects you to God.
Changing perspective and seeing the things and people in your life with appreciation and joy changes your chemistry, your thinking, your feelings and your actions. Instead of bemoaning what you do not have, rejoice in what you have. This simple change can make a miserable holiday into the best time of the year.
Life was meant to be enjoyed and celebrated. If we do not enjoy our lives, if we do not celebrate our lives then we continue to draw into our lives, exactly what we already have . . . nothing to celebrate.
We are not unlucky or cursed or “just one of those people” or a loser. We have taken on the characteristics of the unlucky, the cursed, etc. Taking on this perspective of ourselves, or our life, creates more of the same.
Feeling angry or sad or depressed can help us to observe our life. It can help us to face our fears, losses and problems. Do not condemn your life. Just observe and decide what you wish to change. Decide on one tiny thing that you can do to change your life. Do not choose something huge like losing 250 pounds, choose to lose two pounds. Start small and see where you are in a year.
Use your depression to make corrections. Sit down and choose to be happy. Start small. Choose to smile at the grocery clerk and see if she does not smile back. Maybe she has this super cute gay brother . . .
’tis the season for miracles. Why not create your own miracle and celebrate this year?
If you would like to contact Maria Etta Anable you may email her at: [email protected]
By Maria Etta Anabell