By: Dr. Nancy Paloma Collins – LMFT
Dear Paloma,
I am a 28-year-old Latina who recently came out to a few close friends. They have been incredibly supportive and encouraged me to attend Pride events this year. The problem is that my family doesn’t know. Every time I think about telling them, I become overwhelmed with anxiety. I was raised in a traditional household where being LGBTQ+ was never openly discussed, and when it was, it wasn’t always positive.
Part of me wants to celebrate Pride openly and authentically. Another part of me is terrified of disappointing my parents or losing relationships with family members I love. I feel like I’m living two different lives. I see everyone posting pictures at Pride and talking about living their truth, while I’m still hiding a huge part of myself.
How do I know if I’m ready to come out? Is it wrong to celebrate Pride if I’m not out to my family yet?
— Living Between Two Worlds
Dear Living Between Two Worlds,
First, know that there is no deadline for coming out. Pride is not a test of how public you are about your identity. Pride is about honoring who you are, whether that is privately, publicly, or somewhere in between.
Many LGBTQ+ individuals, especially those raised in communities where family loyalty, religion, and cultural expectations carry significant weight, find themselves navigating multiple identities at once. This does not make you dishonest; it makes you human.
Coming out is not a single event. It is a process. The most important question is not whether others are ready to hear your truth, but whether you feel emotionally and physically safe sharing it.
You do not owe anyone access to your story before you are ready. Attending Pride, connecting with community, and celebrating your identity are valid forms of self-acceptance. Your journey does not become more authentic simply because it becomes public.
As you consider next steps, ask yourself: What support systems do I have in place? Who can I lean on if conversations with family become difficult? What would help me feel safe and empowered?
Remember that Pride began because people chose to exist authentically in a world that often told them not to. Whether your celebration is marching in a parade, attending a community event, or quietly acknowledging your identity for the first time, your experience matters.
You deserve to live a life where all parts of you can coexist with compassion.
With care,
Paloma
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Disclaimer:
Dear Paloma, is an advice column for educational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute psychotherapy, clinical assessment, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are experiencing emotional distress or need mental health support, please seek services from a licensed mental health professional in your area.