Page 14 - Adelante Magazine February 2025

Entertainment
By: Laura Moreno

Leslie Absher’s

“Queer Girl: In Search of Truth & Acceptance in a Family of Secrets”

When Leslie Absher was ten
years old, she asked her father But being the child of a spy felt
what he did for a living. He re- quite lonely. There were no sup-
sponded that he was in the Army. port groups and it felt to me like
Later he said he worked for the the CIA was a dirty word in left-
State Department. His rotating leaning circles. So in that way, it
stories made her suspicious. was easier to come out as gay, at
When, during a family car ride, her least at first, than it was to talk
mother challenged him to tell the about what my father did for a liv-
family what he did for a living, he ing since it opened me up to judg-
talked in circles, saying he "man- ment and criticism. I felt I had to
aged people." Finally, her mother keep it a secret.
challenged, "You work for the CIA,
don't you?" No answer. Interestingly, I was interviewed
Absher's thoughts flashed to last summer by Kathimerini, a
James Bond. Bond was portrayed prominent Greek newspaper. The
as having endless cash and an article ran on the front page and
enviable life. He romanced described my process to come to
models on yachts, wore elegant terms with his role in the Greek
suits, and drove sexy sports cars, military coup in the late '60s. My
nothing like her father. being gay was completely left out
of the article. The reporter focused
She recalls thinking, "Dad was a on the spy angle, which I under-
nerd. How could he be a spy?" stand, but coming out as a lesbian
"Dad kept his secrets to himself, is also a huge part of the story and
and so did I," Absher writes. "Just that wasn't included.
like him, I lived a double life. One
life had my queer self in it, and the One of the things I love about
other didn't." Absher ulti- this memoir is that it is very per-
mately decided to tell her truth. sonal, and you really go into alone.
And she decided that her life as a how you worked on yourself to
spy daughter was also hers to re- heal through yoga and finding a That said, I live in the Bay Area
claim. The result is an intimate good therapist. Do you have Bubble. My rights are protected
portrait of personal healing. She any advice for how young and will likely continue to be. This
discussed her memoir with us in people can come to terms with isn't the case in many other parts
an exclusive interview: their sexuality? I feel like if of the U.S. Look at Florida with its
you're a young person and you "Don't say gay" bill that bans pub-
Laura Moreno: Your story in- are struggling with anything, you lic school teachers from discus-
volved coming out of two need to find your advocates and sing sexual orientation or gender
closets. Do you agree that the allies. Adults who have been identity. I think young people have
CIA closet was the more diffi- through what you have or are to stay safe, find allies and keep
cult of the two? open to supporting you. organizing for change. We all
Leslie Absher: Coming out of the have to do that. We have to over-
spy daughter closet was in many There was that campaign not too turn these laws.
ways more difficult than coming long ago of "It gets better" and I
out of the queer one. When I came agree. Once you leave childhood, The Vietnam War had a very
out in the late 1980s and earl '90s in many ways it gets better if negative impact on the image of
in Boston, there were support you're queer. But I think no one the CIA, but do you find that
groups at local women's centers. should wait for adulthood. Find things have changed and
It was a queer-friendly time even your supporters in your family, today's 'spy kids' are viewed as ment industry. Spydom has col-
though so many battles were still community, or in safe online chat kind of cool? What responses onized everyone's minds including
to come like same-sex marriage groups. It's easy to feel alone have you received to your my own.
and transgender rights. It wasn't while in the midst of a life transi- book? What it's like to be a spy In my 30s when I started to come
easy to come out to my father, but tion but I guarantee you others or the child of a spy is dominated out as the daughter of a CIA of-
I felt essentially supported. feel similar. No one should feel by Hollywood and the entertain- ficer, I got very divergent re-

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